so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
