I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
