i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
