I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
