Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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