My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
