i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
