I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
