my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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