If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Randomize
