Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
