I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He felt like a one man threesome
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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