Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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