well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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