brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Drake has all the answers
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
