She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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