Whatcha textin bout Willis?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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