yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
