1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
