Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
