did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize