so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
