I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I skipped work to stalk him.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
is wine microwaveable?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
