i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
