I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
