Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
