a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What a dumb baby whore.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
