u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
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