three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
