is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
