I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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