Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
