They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I intend to get homeless drunk
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
