You just made me feel so damn special
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
