does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am naked and annoyed.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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