i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
