As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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