Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize