One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
