i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
