I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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