Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
