he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
