I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize