I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
