can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
