I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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