Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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