I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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