You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
