nut hugger
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
