I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
