why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
