I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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