chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
