I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
