its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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