Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
