I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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