Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
