also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
