I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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