just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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