Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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