me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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