could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
