You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
