We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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