He kissed a someone with a penis
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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