I wanna bring you to show and tell
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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